Why am I perpetually so sombre?

People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be. Until it is not; until reality smashes our faces in with a sledgehammer, a shotgun through what recollections and nostalgia that we could have. How long before contacts fade and these memories dim?

I must admit that of late I've been feeling rather out of sorts. It's ironic that my recent emotions serve to show how far from being happy I thought I was. Still a long way to go and there aren't any shortcuts to take. My stubborn attitude and self-realisation nature tends to make most advice redundant.

I am so tired of being tired. So tired of being wrong. So tired of being patience. So tired of being put down. So tired of being held back.So tired of being frowned at. So tired of being hypocritical.So tired of being contradicted. So tired of being the way one is. So tired of being told what to do. So tired of being misinterpreted.So tired of being misunderstood. So tired of being underestimated.So tired of being treated like a child.So tired of being looked down upon.So tired of controlling one's emotions.So tired of having to hide in secrecy. So tired of having to please others. So tired of the thoughts in my head. So tired of the beast dormant within. So tired of past hurts unforgotten. So tired of meeting hypocrites.So tired of misunderstandings. So tired of keeping silent. So tired of sounding like this. So tired of guilt. So tired of regret. So tired of pride. So tired of sorrow. So tired of anger. So tired of hatred. So tired of revenge

So so so so so very tired. Just so tired.